tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12084428770405490432024-02-07T17:43:30.127-08:00BVP vs NYCThis is the account of a 30 year-old woman child ripped from the Midwest and plopped into NYC. I am prone to panic attacks on the subway, drunken debauchery, soaring spells of superiority followed by esteem crushing lows, moments of hilarity inspired by rage, and a penchant for eating gross food.RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-73360826606556461122010-03-01T13:12:00.000-08:002010-03-01T13:51:42.712-08:00FAKE IT 'TIL I MAKE IT MARCHI was terribly lazy and down in the dumpsy for a solid chunk of February. Typically March is the month of despair but I'm glad I got it out of my system a little earlier this time around. Anywho, I have decided this is FAKE IT 'TIL I MAKE IT MARCH. If I fake that things are totally awesome and that I feel really hopeful and positive and healthy, then by law of osmosis, these qualities will becomeRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com75tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-49193063940679483152010-02-10T15:00:00.000-08:002010-02-10T16:06:28.999-08:00Expanding ForeheadThis is a new segment in which I, Brooke Van Poppelen, aka health expert and Uninsured Hypochondriac field all sorts of medical questions based on years of terrified google researching and Web MD browsing to try and figure out what the hell was going on with my failing health. Feel free to submit questions about what seems to be ailing you and I will do my best to give you an internet based RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-16722665018529984932010-02-03T22:03:00.000-08:002010-02-10T14:53:26.153-08:00Wheat; The Silent Killer. (Of Your Social Life)This is a new segment in which I, Brooke Van Poppelen, aka health expert and Uninsured Hypochondriac field all sorts of medical questions based on years of terrified google researching and Web MD browsing to try and figure out what the hell was going on with my failing health. Feel free to submit questions about what seems to be ailing you and I will do my best to give you an internet based RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-24333403549169159982010-01-06T13:22:00.000-08:002010-01-06T15:10:39.676-08:00Get Organizized!Many of you are wondering aloud, "How does Brooke Van Poppelen intend to keep up her break-neck pace of success in 2010?"Well my friends, I am going to let you in on a little secret of the stars: The Dry-Erase Board.To me, a dry-erase board means business. No longer is it the passive-aggressive communication tool used by 22 year-old housemates who hate one another for not doing the dishes. Nay. RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-54164692562840766462009-12-17T07:47:00.000-08:002009-12-17T08:09:42.025-08:00That Time of Year...
<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-25035683301674209502009-12-11T11:56:00.000-08:002009-12-14T17:44:36.896-08:00NY is Retarded is childhood friends with "I Hate LA"To my massive amounts of followers, I just wanted to pimp out my very dear friend Suzi Barrett who quite frankly needeth no pimping. But, since I just spent a fabulous weekend with her after seeing her in the very funny show Worst Laid Plans I thought I would give her a shout out. Afterall, Suzi and I glued a pube beard onto a dude who passed out at a party. That is a good friend.This is her RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-4388246087930957752009-11-07T11:05:00.000-08:002009-11-11T09:19:02.360-08:00No Stylist Left BehindI posted an article on Lemondrop.com about how it feels to be on the receiving end of a bad haircut even after you've been to great lengths to verbally and visually explain what you're going for. After having this happen to me for the umpteenth time because most hairdressers can't wrap their minds around the concept of curly hair being longer when it's wet, I was graced with the only retribution RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-36080394100358847062009-10-08T19:21:00.000-07:002009-12-16T00:23:09.792-08:00Mad about hot dogs. Again.Not in like, the "in love with" sense. Although actually me and the boyfriend truly are in love with hot dogs, we are just actually mad about NYC gourmet hot dogs. Pissed, actually.I NEVER YELP, but I must admit, we filled a whole night giggling and writing nasty reviews about places we hate that pushed us to our limit. I am telling you...when people, places, and things aren't very good, they RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-45703817564678905782009-10-06T20:48:00.000-07:002009-10-06T22:29:53.920-07:00And then there's this:The name of this photo file on my computer is "pure terror". This my friend, is a mustache bug. In NYC, people call it a silver fish but I beg to differ. The words "silver" and "fish" evoke a sleek, futuristic image or at least hearken to mind an aquatic creature, which last time I checked cannot crawl across my ceiling in the middle of the night. I will get back to this dead beat in a moment.In RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-21576689096050447752009-08-26T21:15:00.000-07:002009-08-26T22:06:16.935-07:00Stop it with the plastic bags, already!!!!I want to bust heads every time I see someone in my immediate neighborhood carrying around a thousand plastic bags. Even 1 plastic bag makes me want to assault someone. Seriously. This crap needs to stop immediately. I have a few, very few, areas in which I am superior to others and one of them undoubtedly is lack of plastic bag use. In your FACE! I am so good at it, that even when I forget to RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-57533898101518125072009-08-05T12:50:00.000-07:002009-08-05T16:04:40.965-07:00Binge Eating; Not Just For NYC AnymoreInspired by Anthony Bourdain's Chicago episode of "No Reservations", I made a vow to eat some gourmet hot dogs at my old neighborhood joint Hot Doug's. I lived in Roscoe Village around the original incarnation of the encased meat eatery's location in 2003. My eyes popped out of my skull when I learned that on the weekends they actually fry their french fries in goose fat. Me and my live-in RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-30048325329064350492009-08-05T12:32:00.001-07:002009-08-05T14:24:00.632-07:00It's not a wedding reception without Bachman Turner OverdriveI have enjoyed some really great feedback from Lemondrop.com readers regarding my new column called "Am I the Worst Person Ever?" It's a great little article that tackles the topic of saying no to being in a wedding party. You can read it here.But in the original version I supplied the most awesome link to Bachman Turner Overdrive's "Takin' Care of Business" which is a crowd pleaser at shitty RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-753122761554059492009-07-02T17:02:00.000-07:002009-07-02T19:02:56.694-07:00I just updated my Racial Profile!Flying home to the Midwest was the usual mass of insanity, uncleanliness, misinformation, and aggravation last week. I am now certain I could have a gallon jug of poison with a stick of dynamite duct taped to it in my carry on and I would still pass through security without controversy. I think La Guardia could care less about safety as long as people are departing with dangerous stuff. "Let OhioRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-60089867331810315972009-06-30T07:27:00.000-07:002009-06-30T08:23:10.153-07:00Mom, I'm a street tough.I found a new and entertaining way to pass time on the subway platform: Vandalism! I get it now. I totally understand why every inch of this city is painted, tagged, ripped, re-arranged and vandalized. I vowed never to be that person, nor could I understand how a book and an Ipod weren't enough of a distraction for some people. And then I snapped.One of the most obnoxious parts of the MTA stationRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-52333505151048373672009-05-04T12:58:00.000-07:002009-05-06T12:59:31.376-07:00Karaoke is fun, not an audition, you twat.As of late, I have been pretty hard pressed to find a good place in NYC to sing the Doobie Brothers in front of a crowd of strangers. Even harder than that is finding the right kind of karaoke crowd. I seem to keep only finding self-important crowds of idiots who talk over everyone singing or self important idiots who are apparently trying to land a manager who they think might be present in the RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-14280492454229833212009-04-30T14:30:00.000-07:002009-04-30T17:19:24.994-07:00It's not me, it's Manhattan!NYC parties hard. Like, really hard. Getting smashed is a totally celebrated, public affair. How could it be anything else? Unless you lock yourself in your apartment every night to drink alone until your eyes cross, everyone in NYC knows you're drunk.I was 27 when I moved here and had started to ease up on the wild nights and dangerous behavior while living in Chicago. I had been dating a RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-70856269793791597982009-04-28T07:07:00.000-07:002009-04-28T08:26:49.383-07:00South Slope MorningWow. Does anyone else live in a building where without warning, demolition workers start tearing down the walls in your hallway at 8:30am?I wanted to spring out of bed and scream at what I assumed to be my upstairs neighbors working on an art project---they restore statues, art pieces, signs, you name it. For a week, I have walked into my building to the shocking sight of a 7ft. tall Goofy statueRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-50590991720283639422009-04-13T18:10:00.000-07:002009-04-13T19:41:52.061-07:00Individual seeks full time humiliationJob hunting in NYC. There's nothing like it. After eating a sleeve of Peeps, I spent a portion of Easter Sunday on craigslist with the hope that there would be less competition responding to ads on the holy of all holy days. This is exactly where my life has found itself. It's not a pretty place. My relationship with craigslist is an abusive one and I keep crawlin' back for some more RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-7887498685004078882009-04-03T07:39:00.000-07:002009-04-03T11:52:21.313-07:00Mexican't( this is a photo of me suffering through yet ANOTHER shitty Mexican food experience in NYC)It's time to address this bad joke.The Mexican food here is disheartening to say the least. I wander the streets longingly peering into windows searching for tacos garnished with lime, cilantro and diced onion. I bow my head and continue to scuffle down the street in the pouring rain. It's been 3 years of RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-87841052024568162992009-03-26T09:49:00.000-07:002015-10-19T08:42:17.701-07:00No Pizza March (dedicated to Mara)My boyfriend and I declared the month of March as "No Pizza March". Today is the 26th. I have gone 26 days without pizza in NYC and have 5 more to go.
Since moving to NYC which is a haven for Yes-aholics, I have never had to put myself into so many little self-imposed "just say no" programs. Last year was "No Alcohol March" which did nothing other than make me a more impassioned booze hound. I RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-31574285372050262892009-03-03T10:18:00.000-08:002009-03-03T10:27:19.538-08:00T-R-O-P-H-I-EInstead of writing, I have spent the last two weeks promoting myself. I apologize for this, but I am actually trying to be a competitor for this ECNY awards thingy instead of curling up into a ball and hiding. Believe it or not, competition makes me squirm. It's only fun when you know you've got it in the bag......I am a 2 time spelling bee champion, so you would think that the amassed confidenceRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-91419073990868712242009-02-09T23:10:00.000-08:002009-02-09T23:19:14.771-08:00Open Letter From a RatI used to work at Joe Coffee Store in Manhattan. We spent most of last winter co-habitating the shop with a 3 lb rat.He had alot of personality and really enjoyed our assortment of sweets. He mostly came out at night and helped himself to leftover stock which we tried in vain to secure in tough, plastic storage bins. He always found a way in.It was a mostly peaceful relationship, if not annoying RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com584tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-66919797234347304932009-02-05T10:28:00.000-08:002009-02-05T13:06:08.112-08:00Violence and post Modern Art, also known as the F trainNY----you've done some retarded things. Profoundly retarded.But last night, you really raised the bar.I was leaving a great show I had performed on at Bowery Electric and because of the awful, bone chilling wind, scampered down into the 2nd Avenue F station instead of walking to Delancey.For those of you who don't know this station very well, or anyone who has never been here, a brief descriptionRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com79tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-33222977027971854122009-01-31T10:08:00.000-08:002009-02-02T14:55:05.118-08:00Is it just me or is something going on with the economy?I am worried that something actually is wrong. As a New Yorker, being impervious to a weak economy is second nature. Or so I thought.I didn't notice anything different among my group of friends and family so I have been living life like normal.I still enjoy taking a car service everywhere even if it's just to the corner bodega. Well, I call it a bodega, but it is actually a world class PatisserieRBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1208442877040549043.post-88767299461752441602009-01-21T19:09:00.000-08:002009-01-21T22:14:12.899-08:00Depression Do's and Don'tsWith the current clime of the economy, the cold grey expanse of winter closing in around me, and a career that won’t crack open, I think it’s safe to say I am backsliding into some depression. Ah, familiar, all too cyclical depression folks---it’s not just for Brian Wilson anymore.Being no stranger to the blues given my unstable lifestyle, lack of control over income, and one of those RBS Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06210931870874681556noreply@blogger.com114